Blog #2: A Modest Proposal

            When people face difficult times of poverty and neediness, they often grow poor and hungry. But have no fear, for there is a simple solution—eating children.

            Dr. Jonathan Swift approves of this idea, in A Modest Proposal, which he wrote in 1729. In Swift’s proposal, he appeals to his audience by emphasizing how beneficial cannibalism would be to Irish society.

            In Swift’s intro, he states that the proposal is, “for preventing the children of poor people in Ireland, from being a burden on their parents or country, and for making them beneficial to the publick.” He then goes on to start his argument by summarizing how burdensome children are to their caretakers. Beggars are helpless in raising three to four, or even six children, which can cause great ‘grievance’. Although he starts his proposal with the negatives of having children, Swift states that his proposal will help “many thousands” of his country.

            With a great play on words, Swift’s “modesty” for the brutal and harsh ideas of feasting on human children, prove to be quite ironic. He says that eating children will solve the problem of the kids being a burden to their parents, as well as decreasing abortion rates, and obviously, helping to feed the people of Ireland. The author justifies these claims with anecdotes, as well as research.

            Swift persuades readers by assuring the people of Ireland, that “whether stewed, roasted, baked or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricasie, or a ragoust.” Not only is it odd to propose the idea of eating children in the first place, but I find it especially odd that Swift is given the idea by other people that have eaten children. Although I do know that he is joking (hopefully) in this essay, it seems odd as to how the author comes up with these ideas, and how he supports them.

            Another thing I find pretty interesting about this piece, is how Swift uses a formal tone to describe his “research”. He states everything matter-of-factly, and seems to know about eating children from previous experience or thought. Swift proposes that one-year olds will weigh precisely twenty-eight pounds, and even states how the whole system of eating children would play into society. His tone remains professional, and reading it makes me imagine an advertising agent’s presentation for proposing a plan with a company, using graphs and charts to point out their assessments. Swift’s tone seems progressive, as he states that “infant’s flesh will be in season throughout the year, but more plentiful in March…” He even backs this statement up by explaining that more Roman Catholic children are born nine months after Lent.

            Swift’s proposal even includes certain guidelines for eating children. He recommends buying the children alive, and roasting them like pigs. He says that for the wealthy people, the highest quality child must be over twelve years of age, but under fourteen. The best tasting children must be plump and fat, and are discouraged to exercise. Don’t worry, however, as there are yet even more benefits that eating children could provide.

            In his proposal, Swift notes that by eating children, the poorer class will have something to valuable, as they work hard to turn their children into something fit for feasting, thus providing them with money to pay rent. He also notes that the nation’s stock will increase drastically and therefore boost the economy. Breeders will profit from the eight shillings sterling per year, and eating children would even improve marriage. Swift states that “it would encrease the care and tenderness of mothers towards their children…” This idea is quite ironic, since the mother would be more caring to her child, because she wants to make profit off of it and essentially, eat her own baby.

            After reading and analyzing A Modest Proposal, I only found one thing Dr. Jonathan Swift did not address—if people were to eat children, what would happen to the future? Surely, if children were a highly demanded product on the market, there would be no more children left to grow up and live through the future. And what if children became in such high demand, that adults decided to eat older children? The norm for the age of which a child should be eaten would eventually grow older and older, and could result in people eating their friends and neighbors of similar age! This would eventually lead to the end of life as we know it, right?

            I know I must sound like a cannibalistic lunatic in this response to A Modest Proposal, but I do find Swift’s proposal quite enjoyable, in both his writing style and creativity. His use of satire to persuade his readers is genius, as it is exaggerative, but not overbearing to the point that it isn’t believable. Overall, I found Swift’s proposal interesting, although one can only hope that he wasn’t serious…